It's only a few weeks until your long awaited arrival and I cannot wait to get to finally hold you in my arms. It's been such an amazing journey going through the motions of this pregnancy. One of the things that has made it so interesting is that Daddy & I chose not to find out if you are a boy or a girl. We have let the element of surprise be a big factor, and I cannot tell you how anxious I am to meet you, Especially to know if you are my son or my daughter. I'm dying to know!
We will be happy either way, but your daddy wants a girl. But for the record, it was his idea not to find out the gender. Your legs were crossed during the ultrasound so we probably wouldn't have been able to tell anyway. It was so crazy to see you in the ultrasound; Your lil' face, feet, arms, legs, spine, and stomach... It made the idea of becoming a mother SO much more real. I cried the whole time they had you up on the screen. I was just totally amazed at the sight of you. Daddy was right there holding Mommy's hand the whole time. It was a day that I will never forget.
There have been a lot of ups and downs during this time but our love for you has never faltered. Mommy and Daddy love each other so very much, and we love you even more. Your Grandmas and Grandpas are very anxious to meet you as well. Your Grandpa Tommy knew we were pregnant before we ever got the chance to tell him. But that's a story better left for another time. :) Your Aunt Tamica just gave birth to your cousin Ahlana just a few weeks ago, so you will have a cousin very close in age to grow up with. Then there are your older cousins, E.J., Keywaun, Kendrix, & Emma.
Hopefully there will be a day when you'll know your cousin Brianna, and your Daddy's son Koltyn. Also a story or two better left for another time. I've spent so many months wondering who you are and what you'll be like, that the day you arrive could not come soon enough. I've had so many dreams about you and spent so many hours daydreaming about our life together as a family, it's so hard to believe that it's ALMOST a reality! Only a few short weeks and you'll be here, in our arms, forever the most important thing in our lives. A true token of the love between Mom & Dad.
I promise to always love you, trust you, protect you, and provide you with the best life that we can give you. From the day I found out you were a part of our life, you have become my very first and highest priority. That will never change. You will always be first in my book. No matter what happens in your life, we will always be your parents and love you unconditionally. Don't ever forget that. I hope that I will always be a mother that you'll be proud to have, in the same way that I am proud to call your Grandma Jan my mother. She is a truly amazing woman.
There are a lot of amazing friends and family members that will be here for you. Everyone is so anxious to finally meet you. This has felt like the longest 9 months in some ways, and the fastest in other ways. There's been a lot of debating on what your name will be. Daddy picked the girl name and Mommy gets the job of picking the boy name. And if there's any one word I could use to describe myself, it would be "Indecisive." I've racked my brain from top to bottom trying to think of the perfect name for you. It's a big decision, as it's the name you'll carry for your whole life.
Whatever name you end up with I hope you like it. I always had a hard time growing up with the name Geneva. The only really good thing about it is that it's unique, which is what I'd like to pass on to you... without it being a name that you'll get picked on for having. Hopefully Daddy & I come up with something soon, you could be here any day now! Feeling you kick in my belly has been the most one-of-a-kind experiences, and I know I'm going to miss every minute of it. Everything up to the little hiccups that I can feel you getting in there. It's such a special feeling.
But I'm sure none of that will compare to being able to look into your tiny little eyes, to feel your soft skin against mine, to feel your tiny little hand grasp my finger, to be able to watch you breathe and watch you sleep so peacefully... And nothing will compare to the day you can reach out and hug me and say "I Love You Mommy." I think that'll be the day my heart officially melts to mush. :) Hopefully I will be able to videotape and photograph so many precious memories for you, so that you will have those things to look back on. Mommy and Daddy
both wish that we had more pictures and things to look back at. But in all fairness, technology wasn't so advanced back then. Considering I own a camera and a video camera, There's really no excuse as to why I couldn't do those things for you. I was sure to get maternity pictures done to show you how much you changed my body! But in a truly beautiful way. I will wear any and all stretch marks and added weight proudly. This has been a true work of love and sometimes sacrifices are made in that case. And I'm ok with that. Stretch marks won't change who I am as a person.
Well, this letter hasn't even begun to cover all the things that I'd love to say to you, but I'm sure it's a good start. I've been meaning to keep a journal throughout the entire pregnancy but the time has flown by and the circumstances haven't always permitted. Mommy has been working full-time the whole pregnancy, and we haven't always had our own place to call home like we do now. But I at least wanted to do this for you. I hope it helps you understand how much I love you and how important you are to us. You are our very own miracle.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!! -love- Mommy!
Written: Sunday, August 2, 2009
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